one rule;no growing up,stop this very instant...

the sun is starting to stream through my lace curtains and the birds are singing in the arrogantly large palm and gum trees sitting outside my window,creating a beautiful dappled effect of the morning elder sister ,brother (f_a_m) and beautiful niece and nephew are are leaving this morning.I've been up all night after sleeping in my loves arms all Sunday afternoon,exhausted from the family wedding we attended the night before and the rewarding and magical fun yet utterly energy leeching that is playing with a 3 and 5 yr old for over a week(i know,i have no right to make any sort of complaint,for this isn't,just an observation on how much of a shock to the system it is when you are not a mother.)

they arrived in a flurry of joy and squeezing hugs last Saturday,i just love hearing "AUNTY DANI AUNTY DANI!!" coming from the front door rather than the phone.this was there first visit to our new abode with it's beautiful jungle,perfect for tree climbing,running through sprinklers,picnics under canopies,picking fresh apricots and looking for "the faeries at the bottom of the garden",not to mention playing hide and seek with the animals,especially my ever uncontrolable "Little russian" kitten  mishka,home the babies fell in love with instantly.e have one particular tree that looks as though it belongs to a tropical island brochure that i spend much time reading under and is the perfect climbing tree,as explained by my nephew "this is my favourite tree in the whole wide world!" (he,like myself is a tree climbing aficionado,so this gives it a very high approval!).

our new home has three bedrooms,but really is perfect for two people,so fitting six ,plus pets,which became interesting indeed.. Every morning i was woken by the little marauders jumping and crawling over my bed and ordering me to awake and come outside!

The wedding was beautiful,in a lovely bushland/garden setting.butterflies spontaneously flying around the bride as she walked down the aisle,a curious koala also watched love held up my niece to see 'the beautiful princess and mummy'.the reception was held at a grand old winery,i think the oldest you can get in this country,lanterns in the garden,inside full off dark stained wood paneling and stone,which reminded me of ye old love and i danced,i had to sit down because i started to tear up with happiness and love.he holding me is where i belong.
i am already stating to miss my sister and family,i feel,with the children i am grasping at every ounce of innocence i can keep them retaining.i said to them when they arrived,a la wendy moira angela darling to peter pan,"there is one rule in this house... no growing up!stop this very instant!"... i want to keep the magic alive for them as long as possible,it still has not left me in many ways.

as requested,sydney fashion week with n and m...

we planned to jump in the harbour after the mok thereom show and escaping from the throng,but it became so cold we thought we would return another day for an illigal swim.
 Equasted after a long day,i fell asleep on the train back to the mountains (in the better tht the best blanket vintage YSL coat given from rewind).

the reason she is never usually in pictures linda,camera in hand and turns away with a shy smile.

Poignantly vacant,the mystique to end all mystiques..

'The Philosophy of Andy Warhol' edie sedgwick (taxi)

Taxi was from Charleston, South Carolina--a confused, beautiful debutante who'd split with her family and come to New York. She had a poignantly vacant, vulnerable quality that made her a reflection of everybody's private fantasies. Taxi could be anything you wanted her to be--a little girl, a woman, intelligent, dumb, rich, poor--anything. She was a wonderful, beautiful blank. The mystique to end all mystiques.

She was also a compulsive liar; she just couldn't tell the truth about anything. And what an actress. She could really turn on the tears. She could somehow always make you believe her--that's how she got what she wanted.

Taxi invented the miniskirt. She was trying to prove to her family back in Charleston that she could live on nothing, she would go the Lower East Side and buy the cheapest clothes, which happen to be little girl's skirts, and her waist was so tiny she could get away with it. Fifty cents a skirt. She was the first person to wear ballet tights as complete outfit, with big earrings to dress it up. She was an innovator--out of necessity as well as fun--and the big fashion magazines picked up on her look right away. She was pretty incredible.

We were introduced by a mutual friend who had just made a fortune promoting a new concept in kitchen appliances on television quiz shows. After one look at Taxi I could see that she had more problems than anybody I'd ever met. So beautiful but so sick. I was really intrigued.

She was living off the end of her money. She still had a nice Sutton Place apartment, and now and then she would talk a rich friend into giving her a wad. As I said, she could turn on the tears and get anything she wanted.

One of her rich sponsor-friends even tried to set her up in the fashion business, designing her own line of clothes. He'd bought a loft on 29th Street outright from a schlock designer who had just bought a condominium in Florida and wanted to leave the city fast. The sponsor-friend took over the operation of the whole loft with the seven seamstresses still at their machines and brought Taxi in to start designing. The mechanics of the business were all set up, all she had to do was come up with designs that were basically no more than copies of her own outfits that she styled for herself.

She wound up playing with the bottles of beads and buttons and trimmings that the previous manager left lining the walls. The business, needless to say, didn't prosper. Taxi would spend most of the day at lunch uptown at Reuben's ordering their Celebrity Sandwiches--the Anna Maria Alberghetti, the Arthur Godfrey, the Morton Downey were her favorites.

But I finally realized that Taxi was selfish about absolutely everything.

One day when she was still in the designing business a friend and I went to visit her. There were scraps and scraps of velvets and satins all over the floor and my friend asked if she could have a piece just large enough to make a cover for a dictionary she owned. There were thousands of scraps all over the floor, practically covering our feet, but Taxi looked at her and said, "The best time is in the morning. Just come by in the morning and look through the pails out front and you'll probably find something."

Another time were riding in a cab and she was crying that she didn't have any money, that she was poor, and she opened her pocketbook for a Kleenex and I happened to catch sight of one of those clear plastic change purses all stuffed with green. I didn't bother to say anything. What was the point? But the next day I asked her, "What happened to that clear plastic change purse you had yesterday that was stuffed with money?" She said, "It was stolen last night at a discotheque." She couldn't tell the truth about anything.

Taxi hoarded brassieres. She kept around fifty brassieres--in graduated shades of beige, through pale pink and deep rose to coral and white--in her trunk. They all had the price tags on them. She would never remove a price tag, not even from the clothes she wore. One day the same friend that asked her for the scrap of material was short on cash and Taxi owed her money. So she decided to take a brassiere that still had the Bendel's tags on it back to the store and get a refund. When taxi wasn't look she stuffed it into her bag and went uptown. She went to the lingerie department and explained that she was returning the bra for a friend--it was obvious that this girl was far from an A-cup. The saleslady disappeared for ten minutes and then came back holding the bra and some kind of log book and said, "Madame. This bra was purchased in 1956." Taxi was a hoarder.

Taxi had an incredible amount of makeup in her bag and in her footlocker: fifty pairs of lashes arranged according to size, fifty mascara wands, twenty mascara cakes, every shade of Revlon shadow ever made--iridescent and regular, matte and shiny--twenty Max Factor blush-ons...She'd spend hours with her makeup bags Scotch-taping little labels on everything, dusting and shining the bottles and compacts. Everything had to look perfect.

But she didn't care about anything below the neck.

She would never take a bath.

I would say, "Taxi. Take a bath." I'd run the water and she would go into the bathroom with her bag and stay in there for an hour. I'd yell,

"Are you in the tub?"

"Yes, I'm in the tub."

Splash splash.

But then I'd hear her tip-toeing around the bathroom and I'd peek in through the keyhole and she'd be standing in front of the mirror, putting on more makeup over what was already caked on her face. She would never put water on her face--only those degreasers, those little tissue-thin papers you press on that remove the oils without ruining the makeup. She used those.

A few minutes later I'd peek through the keyhole again and she'd be recopying her address book--or somebody else's address book, it didn't matter--or else she'd be sitting with a yellow legal pad making the list of all the men she'd ever been to bed with, dividing them into three categories--"Slept" *beep* and "Cuddled." If she made a mistake on the last line and it looked messy, she'd tear it off and start all over. After an hour she'd come out of the bathroom and I'd say. gratuitously, "You didn't take a bath." "Yes. Yes I did."

I slept in the same bed as Taxi once. Someone was after her and she didn't want to sleep with him, so she crawled into bed in the next room with me. She fell asleep and I just couldn't stop looking at her, because I was so fascinated-but-horrified. Her hands kept crawling, they couldn't sleep, they couldn't stay still. She scratched herself constantly, digging her nails in and leaving marks. In three hours she woke up and said immediately that she hadn't been asleep.

Taxi drifted away from us after she started seeing a singer-musician who can only be described as The Definitive Pop Star-possibly of all time-who was then fast gaining recognition on both sides of the Atlantic as the thinking man's Elvis. I missed having her around, but I told myself that it was probably a good thing that he was taking care of her now, because maybe he knew how to do it better than we had.

Taxi died a few years ago in Hawaii where an important industrialist had taken her for a "rest." I hadn't seen her for years."

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music...

a few of the cherished records my dad lefft for me when he passed away,i add to the collection.

I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me-like food or water...